Can You Make A Relationship With A Narcissist Work?


It’s certainly possible to have a relationship with a narcissist, but it’s going to be emotionally and psychologically exhausting. Narcissists drain all the life and spirit from their partner, using them as an emotional and sometimes literally a punching bag. Narcissists hook in their victims by “love bombing” them. It’s only when they are sure their supply will stick around that their mask starts to slip, and they reveal their true self. But they break up the insults and abuse with intermittent affection, which is what the victim holds out for. What do you think LiveTribers? Can you make a relationship with a narcissist work?

Posted by on 15 Aug 2022

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  • [0] [0]
    Laae

    No. Don’t waste your time

    Posted by Laae on 05 Oct 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Stephen

    Not possinle

    Posted by Stephen on 05 Oct 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    OlaSOT

    It would be very smart not to even consider this at all. Regardless of how you look at it, you will be on the losing end.

    Posted by OlaSOT on 02 Oct 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    yelsha42

    NO, I wouldn't even consider it!

    Posted by yelsha42 on 02 Oct 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Christine

    no, no, no, way. Everyday will be about you compromising just to fit in with their lifestyle and demands. It will suck the life out of you.

    Posted by Christine on 26 Sep 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Caroline

    I have for 3 years and only just survived. After a relationship with a narcissist you will never be the same person again.

    Posted by Caroline on 23 Sep 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    shylady

    I certainly wouldn't want to, sad that anyone needs to.

    Posted by shylady on 10 Sep 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Olga

    Difficult environment for the whole family, children will always feel thus toxic family atmosphere, run before it is too late, this is my advice

    Posted by Olga on 10 Sep 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Turbotom

    No not a good environment to be in and long term would drain you

    Posted by Turbotom on 03 Sep 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Avery

    Yes, but not for long

    Posted by Avery on 03 Sep 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Ginilouise

    No - they really don't make good partners!

    Posted by Ginilouise on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    PurpleKathy

    Mentally exhausting to do but also takes a huge toll on your physically. You have to be so careful not to be drained in every way

    Posted by PurpleKathy on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    smilingmum

    Ive lived with a narcissist for 40 years trying to fit into his ways and adapt the family to his emotional blackmail and poor me attitude. Now that I have separated from him it has gotten worse with his control over my finances and life under constant scrutiny and passive control. he always makes me look like the bad partner.

    Posted by smilingmum on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [2] [0]
    Enchantress

    My life is so peaceful compared to the constant roller coaster of drama that came with having one narcissistic family member in my life. It was extremely difficult to get to this place as I was always putting family first. The change to put myself first arrived after a series of incredibly painful events. The saddest part is learning to accept this person doesn't even care and is blithely living same life with different players.

    Posted by Enchantress on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    stratman

    I must check with the person that accused me of that via innuendo recently on another site. They seemed to be doing a pretty good impression of keeping our relationship in tact up until recently - hilarious

    Posted by stratman on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Tickles77

    Unlikely. None of their actions, behaviour or responses would be genuine. Just an opportunity to control and keep you down while feeding their own needs and insecurities.

    Posted by Tickles77 on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    June

    I can't mix with these folks because they always think they are the 'only best' and 'forever right' creatures in the universe.

    Posted by June on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    June

    Scomo is the classic disastrous demonstration as of latest.

    Posted by June on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Spiderwoman

    Maybe you can - but at what cost? Is it worth it? Shall we ask (former prince) Harry in a few years?

    Posted by Spiderwoman on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Adelyn

    Not a good idea

    Posted by Adelyn on 24 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Ann

    Not if you value yourself.

    Posted by Ann on 17 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Swampy

    No bloody way .run away really fast. Lol.

    Posted by Swampy on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    cazzle

    I would say the relationship wouldn't work in the long run because if I was in that situation, which I was, I had had enough and left the relationship.

    Posted by cazzle on 16 Aug 2022
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    Tara Rata

    Relationships take work, if both are willing to put the effort in then in can work but if it's one sided then it would never be right

    Posted by Tara Rata on 16 Aug 2022
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    Jigsaw

    It depends on how much patience you have to deal with that person

    Posted by Jigsaw on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    greengrass

    Plenty of patience and understanding, appreciation, would be difficult,

    Posted by greengrass on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    wens

    Agree with all comments, but if can work with a lot of understanding .

    Posted by wens on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    fresheyes

    What about a part time narcissist? My partner is only narcissistic when he is triggered into a BPD splitting episode.... I definitely couldn't deal with the narcissistic traits full time

    Posted by fresheyes on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Justin

    A good relationship has balance, and if that scale is tipped in the favor of one person it will lead to hurt. Communication may help but never put someone else before your own mental well-being.

    Posted by Justin on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [2] [0]
    Brian

    The difficulty with a narcissist personality disorder is the lack of empathy for others and the negativity towards any form of constructive criticism….certainly difficult to establish a mutual beneficial relationship…

    Posted by Brian on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [2] [0]
    PeterM

    it is definately exhausting, emotionally and psychologically, tend to not remember things so much anymore and the turn discussions upside down so that you lose your train of thought. and what do you do if you're outnumbered and have nobody in the home to back you ?

    Posted by PeterM on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    CILLY0

    Only if the victim is a door-mat. If you think for yourself and hold down a job, then the relationship is doomed to fail. It might take a while, but it will fail.

    Posted by CILLY0 on 16 Aug 2022
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    PeterM

    hi there, I just want ask ask if I may, what do you mean by " If you think for yourself and hold down a job, then the relationship is doomed to fail."

    Posted by PeterM on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Narelle

    Only if you have very low self esteem, then you will make it "work". If you feel you are not as good as them and they agree with you, this may work. We all like people who agree with us, right?

    Posted by Narelle on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    mact

    No.....self centred humans are hard to change.....Karma always brings them to heel, failing that death stalks us all!!!

    Posted by mact on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [0]
    Maryam

    If you feel devalued about yourself then I think it can work. Otherwise no.

    Posted by Maryam on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [2] [0]
    Carol

    My goodness a huge challenge to even attempt to make a relationship work with a narcissist. I was introduced to a work colleague and at the end of a 5-10 minute discussion i was left a bit bewildered. After the conversation ended mainly with him constantly talking and telling us what to do where to stand, how we should be agreeing with him and really did we have our own opinion?? After we walked away I said to my colleague "there is something wrong with that man"! I told another person what had happened and she said he is a narcissist. So I looked it up and yes he displayed all the behaviors of a narcissist. I did not cope with him ordering and directing and not accepting any other input and his inability to accept that we didn't think he was amazing and we weren't applauding him. So, unless you are superhuman i cannot see that a relationship with a narcissist would ever work unless you kissed their feet and let them tell you constantly what to do

    Posted by Carol on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    mcalvo

    If you are okay to not feel valued by this other person then I guess so?!

    Posted by mcalvo on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Shalley

    It could only work if the partner did not any self worth or confidence in themself. In other words NO.

    Posted by Shalley on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    littleblackbird

    Experience tells me that 'no', a relationship with a narcissist cannot be successful. :)

    Posted by littleblackbird on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Jude

    I don't think you can make a relationship work with a narcissist. They are only in a true relationship with themselves; everyone else is just a reflection. To them, you are just furniture, a tool, a means to an end, there is no thought about what you may be feeling or thinking beyond manipulation. My belief is that it is impossible.

    Posted by Jude on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Dominic

    the relationship would be toxic and difficult with narcissist

    Posted by Dominic on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [0] [1]
    Paul

    depends on your tolerance level and EQ capabilities. Any relationship takes time and effort to make it work.

    Posted by Paul on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [1] [0]
    Ally42

    Probably not as they would be too overbearing to deal with.

    Posted by Ally42 on 16 Aug 2022
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  • [2] [0]
    Loner wolf

    Yes! If you're willing to forgive, forgive and forgive them again, and again with much loving kindness, ignoring the fact they have wounded you. Plus do not show your suffering to them as they see this as weakness and a further chance to destruct you. Silence works with much detachment, as they get time out to ponder the reactions they have caused, which are NONE!

    Posted by Loner wolf on 15 Aug 2022
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  • [2] [0]
    Hispania

    only if you are prepared to have a struggle with your self-respect.

    Posted by Hispania on 15 Aug 2022
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